Durdu mu d\u00fcnya? Durmad\u0131. Hala ya\u015f\u0131yorum ya\u015faman\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 koyamasam da! Sustum kar etmedi, konu\u015ftum sesimi duyan olmad\u0131. \u00c7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131m duvarlara \u00e7arpt\u0131, duvarlar\u0131n kulaklar\u0131 \u00e7atlad\u0131 ama insano\u011flu duymad\u0131. Yine burday\u0131m yine puslu gecede, lo\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde, izbe kokular\u0131n aras\u0131nda bir kalem ve bir defterle. Benimle birlikte mavi \u00e7izgili nevresimimde ki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck pembe \u00e7i\u00e7ekler bile a\u011fl\u0131yor. Bug\u00fcn herg\u00fcnden farkl\u0131 bir g\u00fcn. Bileklerimde k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 izler. Y\u00fcre\u011fimde d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlenen k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n son hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131 bile\u011fimde ki k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131l\u0131ktan da \u00e7ok ac\u0131 veriyor.
\u0130nsanlar\u0131n bedenlerine \u00e7arpan ses dalgalar\u0131, kulaklar\u0131mda silinmeyen k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ve beynimin s\u00fcrekli tekrarlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 hakimin son karar\u0131. Sekiz y\u0131l on ay…
Nefesim kesilecek sand\u0131m, her\u015fey d\u00f6nd\u00fc o an. Annemin g\u00f6zlerinde \u00e7aresizli\u011fimin resmini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Babam\u0131n donuk bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131.
Kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131 yar\u0131p ko\u015farak belime sar\u0131lan k\u0131z\u0131ma, ba\u011fl\u0131 kollar\u0131m\u0131n aras\u0131na al\u0131p sar\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Ne denli b\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7 i\u015fledi\u011fimi k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 apar topar mahkemeden d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131klar\u0131nda anlad\u0131m.
B\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7lar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck cezas\u0131 olur derdi babam. Ne su\u00e7 i\u015flemi\u015ftim? Haf\u0131zam\u0131 zorlad\u0131m. \u00dcniversite hayat\u0131m\u0131, \u00f6\u011fretmenlik yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m y\u0131llar\u0131, e\u015fimle evlili\u011fimi, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n do\u011fdu\u011fu an\u0131, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumda karde\u015flerimle kavgam\u0131, annemle didi\u015fmelerimi… Bunlar su\u00e7muydu?
Devlet okullar\u0131na atanamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in dershanede \u00f6\u011fretmenlik yapman\u0131n su\u00e7 oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendim. B\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7. E\u015fimde b\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7lu. Dershane de \u00f6\u011fretmenlik onunda sekiz y\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131. Peki k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n su\u00e7u ne?
Yine \u0131sland\u0131 yapraklar. M\u00fcrekkep doldu g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6letleri. Ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7amura b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 iz gibi. Silinmeyecek…
Elbiseme sinen, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n yasemin kokusunu i\u00e7ime \u00e7ekiyorum onu kokluyormu\u015f gibi. Bir yandan da yaz\u0131yorum g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6lletlerini atlay\u0131p kuru yerler bularak.
Ne bug\u00fcn\u00fc silecek bir silgim var, ne de g\u00f6lletleri kurutacak g\u00fcne\u015fim. \u00c7aresizli\u011fimin sesini duyan bir kalemim bir de Allah’\u0131m. Sadece ben de\u011filim inleyen. Ranzam\u0131n alt\u0131nda yatan Hacer Abla’n\u0131n sesi aral\u0131yor sayfalar\u0131m\u0131. Duygular\u0131m kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor onun sesine. V\u00fccuduna da\u011f\u0131lan a\u011fr\u0131lar adeta \u00fcst\u00fcme ak\u0131yor. Yorgan\u0131n alt\u0131na girip kulaklar\u0131m\u0131 kapatsam biter mi? Ya da kalk\u0131p su versem ge\u00e7er mi?
Ge\u00e7miyor, ge\u00e7medi de. Hepsini yapt\u0131m 4. evre bir kanser hastas\u0131n\u0131n inlemelerini mahpuslar\u0131n \u00e7abalar\u0131 ge\u00e7irmiyor. Kendi derdimi unutuyorum o an.
Ne tuhaf bir yerdir buras\u0131. Kime dokunsam binbir dert var. Kendime sorsam derdimin alt\u0131nda ezilip kal\u0131yorum. Tartmaya kalksam benim ki hafif kal\u0131yor.
Saat gecenin 3’\u00fc. Ka\u011f\u0131t yorgun, kalem isyanda. Hacer Abla’n\u0131n sesi k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n sesini bast\u0131r\u0131yor. Derdime sus diyorum, \u015fimdi s\u0131ras\u0131 de\u011fil.
Hacer Abla \u00fc\u00e7 \u00e7ocuklu, ev han\u0131m\u0131, \u00e7ok g\u00fczel yemek yapar. Elinden her i\u015f gelir. Misafiri de pek severmi\u015f zavall\u0131. Apartman\u0131nda ki \u00fcniversite \u00f6\u011frencilerine \u00e7ok yemek yedirmi\u015f. Kermeslere g\u00f6nderdi\u011fi sarmalar yok satarm\u0131\u015f. Tatl\u0131lar\u0131yla \u00fcnl\u00fcym\u00fc\u015f. \u0130\u015fte onun bu \u015f\u00f6hreti devlete kadar ula\u015fm\u0131\u015f. 6 y\u0131l 3 ay da o ceza alm\u0131\u015f. Ne yaps\u0131n Hacer Abla o da b\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7lu…
Gardiyanlar\u0131n gelmesini bekliyoruz, b\u00fct\u00fcn ko\u011fu\u015f ayakta. Demir kap\u0131ya vurulunca Kerem de uyand\u0131. Annesinin kuca\u011f\u0131nda a\u011fl\u0131yor. Kerem bir yandan Hacer Abla bir yandan a\u011f\u0131tlara inlemeler kar\u0131\u015f\u0131rken y\u00fcre\u011fi ate\u015fli gen\u00e7ler ise gardiyanlar\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor.
Kimse yok mu? Hacer Abla a\u011fr\u0131dan duram\u0131yor. Hasta \u00f6l\u00fcyor!
\u00d6l\u00fcmden korkar gardiyanlar! Geliyorlar. Nesi var deyip g\u00f6z ucuyla bak\u0131yorlar. Bir taraftan Sibel’e seslenip «sustur be kad\u0131n \u015fu \u00e7ocu\u011fu! duyam\u0131yoruz» diyorlar.
Hacer Abla’y\u0131 zor bela yerinden indiriyoruz. Gardiyanlar revire g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Sibel ise g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 yemenisine d\u00fcr\u00fcp o\u011fluna sessizce bir ninni s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor.
Merak ettin de\u011fil mi? Kerem de kim? O da b\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7lu. \u0130ki ya\u015f\u0131nda sar\u0131 sa\u00e7l\u0131, d\u00fcz duvara t\u0131rmanacak kadar hareketli, afacan m\u0131 afacan topalak o\u011flan. Bizim gen\u00e7ler bu s\u00f6zle severler Kerem’i. Burada do\u011fdu yavrucak. \u00dcniversiteli b\u00fcy\u00fck su\u00e7lu ablalar\u0131 koydu ismini. As\u0131l su\u00e7lu annesi Sibel Hem\u015fire. Bankaya para yat\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, bir de utanmadan maa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 o bankadan \u00e7ekiyormu\u015f. Cezas\u0131 da b\u00fcy\u00fck olur tabi. Yedi y\u0131ldan ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Kerim’le birlikte \u00e7ekiyorlar cezalar\u0131n\u0131!
Birg\u00fcn bizim gen\u00e7lerden Gonca’n\u0131n akl\u0131na dahiyane bir fikir geldi. Verilen cezay\u0131 iki ki\u015fi yat\u0131nca yar\u0131ya inmez mi diye. Tabi bunu bir hakime dan\u0131\u015fmak gerek. \u00d6yle de yapt\u0131 gen\u00e7ler. Hi\u00e7 \u00e7ekinmeden hakime sordular. Hangi hakime mi? Bize ceza veren hakime de\u011fil, bizimle cezaevinde yatan hakime. G\u00fcld\u00fc \u00e7ok g\u00fcld\u00fc sonra biz de g\u00fcld\u00fck. Ard\u0131na a\u011flad\u0131. Bizde a\u011flad\u0131k. Niye mi? Burada b\u00f6yle.
\u00c7eken bilir \u00e7ekmeyi, \u00e7ekmeyene anlatma derdini.
S\u00f6ylese a\u015f\u0131k da\u011f erir, bir mazlumun ah\u0131na g\u00f6k delinir.
Biliriz biz de bug\u00fcnlerde ge\u00e7ecek
Ate\u015fi s\u00f6nd\u00fcrmeye ka\u00e7 kova su ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131.
\u0130\u015fte bunun hesab\u0131 verilecek.
G\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131zla dolduruyoruz kovalar\u0131.
Yang\u0131n yeri buralar, yok mu sizin orada sular.
Neyse \u00e7ok konu\u015facaklar var ama derdi dertlendirmeyeyim.
Hacer ablay\u0131 sabah getirdiler. \u0130ki i\u011fne bir serumla bug\u00fcn\u00fc de ge\u00e7irttiler. Kerem so\u011fuk betonda su \u015fi\u015fesinden trenini s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Gen\u00e7ler zeytin \u00e7ekirde\u011finden bileklik yap\u0131yor. Hakime Abla \u0130ngilizce \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor. Ben ise yasemin kokusunu i\u00e7ime \u00e7ekip k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Makbule \u00d6ZDEM\u0130R
21.12.2022<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Durdu mu d\u00fcnya? Durmad\u0131. Hala ya\u015f\u0131yorum ya\u015faman\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 koyamasam da! Sustum kar etmedi, konu\u015ftum sesimi duyan olmad\u0131. \u00c7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131m duvarlara \u00e7arpt\u0131, duvarlar\u0131n kulaklar\u0131 \u00e7atlad\u0131 ama insano\u011flu duymad\u0131. Yine burday\u0131m yine puslu gecede, lo\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde, izbe kokular\u0131n aras\u0131nda bir kalem ve bir defterle. Benimle birlikte mavi \u00e7izgili nevresimimde ki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck pembe \u00e7i\u00e7ekler bile a\u011fl\u0131yor. Bug\u00fcn herg\u00fcnden…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1011,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized-tr"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1249"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1249\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1290,"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1249\/revisions\/1290"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1011"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vereinverfolgt.ch\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}