Muhafazak\u00e2r bir ailenin alt\u0131nc\u0131 \u00e7ocu\u011fuyum. T\u00fcrkiye`de 28 \u015eubat olaylar\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131 o kapkaranl\u0131k g\u00fcnlerde lise \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131m. Bin ki\u015filik lisede ba\u015f\u0131 \u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc olan -y\u00fcrek yemi\u015f- sadece iki k\u0131z vard\u0131. O g\u00fcnlerde ailemin \u00f6rt\u00fcnme \u0131srarlar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 m\u00fccadele ediyor ve bu bask\u0131dan kurtulmak istiyordum. \u201c\u0130stemiyordum.\u2019\u2019 ; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc arkada\u015flar\u0131m ne der endi\u015fesi ya\u015f\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bir g\u00fcn yolum g\u00fczel insanlarla kesi\u015fti ve ben onlar sayesinde \u00f6rt\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Ailemin deste\u011fini alm\u0131\u015f olman\u0131n ve onlar\u0131 memnun etmenin verdi\u011fi \u00f6zg\u00fcvenle mutluydum art\u0131k. \u00dcniversite y\u0131llar\u0131mda ise okulun kamp\u00fcs\u00fcne girmeden ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131yor ve \u00e7\u0131karken de \u00f6rt\u00fcyord\u00fcm. Ayn\u0131 durumlar i\u015f hayat\u0131m\u0131zda da kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zaman h\u0131zla ge\u00e7iyordu. Her g\u00fcn \u201cBir \u015feyler d\u00fczeliyor.\u201d diye sevinirken me\u011fer her \u015fey alt \u00fcst oluyormu\u015f. 15 Temmuz darbe giri\u015fimiyle birlikte zul\u00fcmlerin alt\u0131nda presleniyordu ruhum, e\u015fim tutuklanm\u0131\u015f, ben ise g\u00f6zalt\u0131na al\u0131nm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. M\u00fcsl\u00fcman bir \u00fclkede dernek \u00fcyeli\u011fi su\u00e7undan dolay\u0131 g\u00f6z alt\u0131na al\u0131nmak ac\u0131tsa da can\u0131m\u0131,as\u0131l y\u00fcre\u011fimi yaralayan girdi\u011fim karakol kap\u0131s\u0131nda maruz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m aranma \u015fekliydi. O g\u00fcn yeniden ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcm ba\u015f\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ve birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn o \u015fekilde bekletilmi\u015ftim. O g\u00fcnlerde nezarethanede de\u011fildim ben. S\u00fct\u00e7\u00fc \u0130mam\u2019\u0131n, \u201cBac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131lar!\u201d diye Kahramanmara\u015f`\u0131 yakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnde idim. Hz. Ay\u015fe\u2019nin iftiraya maruz kal\u0131p da g\u00f6zlerindeki ya\u015flar\u0131n kana d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e7a\u011fda idim,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Aradan aylar ge\u00e7ti ve benim yolum bu kez de Yunanistan nezarethanesine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. G\u00f6revli polisin ad\u0131m\u0131 s\u00f6ylemesiyle v\u00fccudumda bir gerginlik olu\u015ftu. Ben bir yandan da ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcmdeki i\u011fneleri \u00e7\u0131karmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Polis: M\u00fcsl\u00fcman m\u0131s\u0131n ?
Ben : Evet.
Polis : \u00c7\u0131kartma \u00f6rt\u00fcn\u00fc! dedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u011flad\u0131m saatlerce. Oysa ben M\u00fcsl\u00fcman bir \u00fclkenin polisi taraf\u0131ndan azarlanm\u0131\u015f ve k\u00f6t\u00fc muamelelere maruz kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m daha birka\u00e7 ay \u00f6nce. Hayal bile etmiyordum bu sayg\u0131y\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yolum uzand\u0131 \u0130svi\u00e7re Alplerinde 1300 metre y\u00fcksekte bir da\u011f kamp\u0131na. \u0130yi de\u011fildim ruhen; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc m\u00fclteci g\u00f6mle\u011fini giymi\u015ftim art\u0131k, san\u0131r\u0131m uzuun y\u0131llar \u00e7\u0131kartamayacakt\u0131m \u00fczerimden. Bulundu\u011fum kampta \u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc iki bayandan biriydim. Ahh benim nazl\u0131 \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fim, g\u00fczel \u00f6rt\u00fcm. Ne \u00e7ileler \u00e7ektik seninle, bir oldu\u011fumuz g\u00fcnden beri, ya\u015fad\u0131k\u00e7a daha \u00e7ok tutunduk birbirimize, daha \u00e7ok sar\u0131p sarmalad\u0131k hakikatleri, k\u00fcs\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorduk bazen, dar\u0131l\u0131yorduk t\u00fcm bak\u0131\u015flara,
\u201cKocan m\u0131 zorlad\u0131?\u201d sorular\u0131na yetmeyen lisan\u0131m\u0131zla cevap ar\u0131yorduk. Nas\u0131l s\u00f6ylenirdi ki \u201cruhumuzun \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc\u201d oldu\u011funu ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn. Hedefimiz, kanat \u00e7\u0131rpmakt\u0131 efendimizin i\u015faret etti\u011fi iffet r\u00fczgar\u0131na.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yine bir g\u00fcn doktor randevusu i\u00e7in bulundu\u011fum kamptan \u015fehir merkezine inmi\u015ftim. \u0130\u015fimi bitirdim ve tekrar otob\u00fcse binmek i\u00e7in hareket saatini beklerken bir kafeteryaya oturdum. Kap\u0131dan giren herkes direkt bana bak\u0131yordu. O bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 g\u00f6rmemek i\u00e7in masan\u0131n \u00fczerinde duran gazeteyi okuyordum. Maalesef azaltm\u0131yordu hissetti\u011fim rahats\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131. Oradan bir an \u00f6nce uzakla\u015fmak istiyordum. G\u00f6nl\u00fcmdeki k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klarla, gitti\u011fim her yere benimle gelen i\u00e7 huzursuzlu\u011fumu da al\u0131p, nihayet otob\u00fcse bindim ve 45 dakikalik yolda bir\u00e7ok \u015feyi yarg\u0131l\u0131yor, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131na bo\u011fuluyordum. Kampa girdi\u011fimde h\u00e2limi g\u00f6ren e\u015fim \u015fu c\u00fcmleyi kurarak beni teselli etmi\u015fti:
\u2013 \u0130nand\u0131\u011f\u0131 dini \u201ccesurca\u201d ya\u015fayan insanlar, her zaman \u201csayg\u0131 g\u00f6rme\u201dye lay\u0131kt\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Aksam yeme\u011fi saati gelmi\u015fti, yemekhaneye indik. Bizim yemekhanede sistem \u015f\u00f6yle idi: Her masada 2 aile oturuyordu ve bizim masam\u0131zda da 2 \u00e7ocu\u011fu ile sava\u015ftan ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015f Ukraynal\u0131 bir kad\u0131n oturuyordu. Birbirimizle konu\u015fam\u0131yorduk, sadece beden dili ve mimiklerimizle anla\u015fabiliyorduk. Her yemekten sonra \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fard\u0131m ve o bayana \u201cBa\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 azarlama, onlar\u0131 \u00e7ok sev.\u201d derdim. O aksam beynimdeki binlerce sorunun ve y\u00fcz\u00fcmdeki h\u00fczn\u00fcn etkisinde yeme\u011fe inmi\u015ftim. Maria da yemek boyunca beni izlemi\u015f ve \u00fczg\u00fcn oldu\u011fumu hissetmi\u015f. Yemek bitti\u011finde, telefonundaki \u00e7eviri program\u0131na bir\u015feyler yaz\u0131p okumam\u0131 istedi.
\u201cSEN BEN\u0130M BU HAYATTA G\u00d6RD\u00dc\u011e\u00dcM EN TATLI, EN G\u00dcZEL VE EN \u0130Y\u0130 KALPL\u0130 M\u00dcSL\u00dcMANSIN. M\u00dcSL\u00dcMAN OLDU\u011eUNU BA\u015e\u00d6RT\u00dcNDEN ANLADIM. \u00dcZ\u00dcLMEY\u0130 SANA YAKI\u015eTIRAMADIM.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 ve ALLAHUTALA beni o g\u00fcn Ukraynal\u0131 bir Hristiyan\u2019\u0131n s\u00f6zleriyle teselli etmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Muhafazak\u00e2r bir ailenin alt\u0131nc\u0131 \u00e7ocu\u011fuyum. T\u00fcrkiye`de 28 \u015eubat olaylar\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131 o kapkaranl\u0131k g\u00fcnlerde lise \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131m. Bin ki\u015filik lisede ba\u015f\u0131 \u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc olan -y\u00fcrek yemi\u015f- sadece iki k\u0131z vard\u0131. O g\u00fcnlerde ailemin \u00f6rt\u00fcnme \u0131srarlar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 m\u00fccadele ediyor ve bu bask\u0131dan kurtulmak istiyordum. \u201c\u0130stemiyordum.\u2019\u2019 ; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc arkada\u015flar\u0131m ne der endi\u015fesi ya\u015f\u0131yordum. Bir g\u00fcn yolum g\u00fczel insanlarla kesi\u015fti ve…
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